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One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can get us: an opening. I know not all people likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?